Nobody Like You
by BreatheSemperMea
Summary: When you make the first step in the right direction, you should go the rest of the day too, to see if you can mend what has been broken. To see if your decision was the right one. Callie made her decision in 11x05 - this is my take on how they cope. Just a tip, listen to the songs.
1. Battlefield

**_Battlefield_**

Callie's POV

_It's easy to fall in love  
>But it's so hard to break somebody's heart<br>What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield_

I stopped in front of the bedroom door and closed my eyes to find the courage I needed every time I had to knock on the wooden surface. It was not even a week ago that I told the woman that I love more than my own life that I needed to feel free and be on my own for a while to figure stuff out. Six days ago, I left her during the therapy session that was supposed to be the end of our break, but instead, I walked away. She had said her bits and I said mine and I couldn't stand to look into her eyes. Those eyes that I loved so much, the joy in them, the shiny and sparkling blue that could light up my day. But those very same eyes were constantly teary now. Or empty. And I didn't know what was worse.

Knocking softly, I pushed the wooden door open and said, "Sofia is tucked in for the night, she asked for you so I told her I'd get you." Then I wanted to leave. I actually should leave, but I couldn't get myself to move. I was frozen to the spot, my legs not working as my mind raced a mile a minute.

_Once lust has turned to dust and all that's left's held breath  
>Forgotten who we first met<br>What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield_

I could easily fall back into my old pattern. I had done it during our ordered break. Twice. The first time it had been just a kiss, at least that was what I had told the therapist. The truth was, though, that with Arizona, it had never been 'just a kiss'. Because every time our lips were pressed against each other, I could feel that spark, that electrifying lust running through my veins and it was so hard to stop the first time, that I knew from the beginning, that I wouldn't be able to hold back a second time. And I didn't. Because sex with Arizona was always life altering, earth shattering amazing. And I missed my wife. I missed the woman that I loved, that I married three and a half years ago. I missed her so much that I threw caution to the wind had seduced her into a night of passionate sex, kisses and cuddles.

"I can't keep doing this, Callio... Callie."

Arizona's words ripped me out of my thoughts. The slip of my real name didn't go unheard, but I chose to ignore it. She and my father were the only two people who could get away with calling me Calliope without me being mad at them. Well, actually it was only the blonde sitting on the bed right now, my father simply refused to call me anything else. But when Arizona said my name, it caused the butterflies in my stomach to rise higher and higher. At least, it used to have this effect. "You can't keep doing what, Arizona? Not say goodnight to your child?", I asked in disbelief.

_We both know it's coming  
>Does illusion count for something we hide?<br>The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie_

"No. I can't keep doing this!", she stated loudly, her hand pointing first at me and then her finger roughly met her own chest. "This thing, whatever this is, it kills me. It's been a week and you only talk to me when it is something about Sofia. You're punishing me and we're both punishing our daughter. Don't you see that she notices that something is off?"

Of course I could see it. My daughter was basically a copy of my own face. And also a mirror of my own inner self. She had a big heart, never hurt a fly and stepped around the earthworms on rainy days. And she also caught on to the tense situation at home. But what should I do? Leave the house we bought together? Make her choose a place to stay every day? It was hard the first time, I don't think she would handle a second time any better. "What do you want me to do?", I asked although I knew the answer.

"Give me a second chance", she pleaded, her eyes once again full of tears that threatened to fall over the rim and run down her cheeks.

_You and I  
>We have to let each other go<br>We keep holding on but we both know  
>What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield<em>

"No", I stated and walked down the hall. Because it wasn't a second chance. Not even a third. And I wasn't talking solely about her, but about us. We've had our second chance after she broke up with me for the first time, saying that she didn't want kids. How wrong she had been for thinking that she wasn't going to be an amazing mom! But still, we've had so many chances and we've never learned from our mistakes in the past. I felt tears welling up and I tried to swallow the knot that had formed in my throat. How did we get here? How did we end up fighting so much, and even more, how did I end up putting a break on everything so I wouldn't have to fight anymore?

_Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun  
>Be strong for both of us<br>No please, don't run, don't run  
>Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield<em>

"Callie!", she came running after me and stopped me before I could hide behind the door of my new bedroom. "Callie, please. I love you. I poured my heart out for you and you still left. What do you need me to do to make it work? I'll do it. Just, please.

_We seemed like a good idea  
>We seemed like a good idea<em>

"Don't you see it, Arizona? I can't do it anymore. I am exhausted. Do you think it's easy for me because it was my decision?", I asked and looked at her, our faces only inches apart. "It is not easy. I see you and I want to kiss you and I want to hold you and tell you that it's all going to be okay. But I can't because I don't know. Because-"

"Because you want to feel free", she recited my words, her voice cold, yet thick with tears as she interrupted me.

"Because I need _you _to feel free too. We both need to love ourselves before we can love each other again. Truly love each other instead of feeling stuck or obligated to stay in this marriage. I love you, God knows I do. But with everything that has happened to us, from the break up over babies, over Africa and me having sex with Mark which got me pregnant, over the car crash and you almost losing us, over the plane crash and us almost losing you, over the leg", I paused. It always came back to the leg, "over you cheating on me to where we are now, in a marriage that isn't sunshine and rainbows because it is toxic, we need to free ourselves from the past to have any chance at a future together." I took a breath, that ramble ended up being longer than intended and it seriously left me out of air. "We need to take care of Sofia and that is right now the only reason I haven't moved out. Because I don't want Sofia to feel like we don't love her. So, for now. Let us be good parents instead of wife and wife and figure out what the future can be like when we're both happy."

_No blood will spill if we both get out now  
>Still it's hard to put the fire out<br>What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield_

"What if I can't?" she asked me but at the same time, she let go of my arm. "What if I can't wait that long?"

_Feelings are shifting like the tide  
>And I think too much about the future<br>What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield_

I had the chance to turn away and just slip into my bedroom, but I didn't. I didn't hate her and she deserved an answer to her question. Even if I couldn't give her a clear yes or no at the moment, I wanted her to know that I thought about our future too. "I don't know, Arizona. All I know is that I don't want to live on a battlefield anymore. I want to be happy again. And I want you to be happy. I want you to thrive in your career, whether it is as the best pediatric surgeon on the west coast or as Dr. Herman's shiny star fellow. I said it before and I truly mean it, I want so much for you, Arizona, because I do love you. I just don't think that loving you is enough, nor is it the best I can do right now." Subconsciously, I leaned closer, my lips only a millimeter away from hers. I could easily kiss her, grab her, pin her to the wall and have rough sex with her. But I didn't. I pulled away, gave her a tight-lipped smile and retreated into my bedroom.

_We seemed like a good idea  
>We seemed like a good idea<br>We seemed like a good idea  
>We seemed like a good idea<em>

* * *

><p>The song is Battlefield - Lea Michele<p> 


	2. Skydive

_**Skydive**_

Arizona's POV

_I'm seeing you again,  
>Watching you doing all the things we used to do as two<br>But now it's only one, it's you_

I came home to giggles and laughs from our precious daughter who was having a dance party to her children songs in the living room with her mother. That right there was a moment of pure joy and honestly, I wanted nothing more than to just join them and have a good time. I was in need of a good time after Dr. Herman had once again tried to minimize my work in the OR and belittle my talent as a surgeon. But then I was reminded that I wasn't allowed to join them. I had to pretend to be too busy to join them. I had to pretend that I didn't miss my wife and the quality time with my family. That's what Callie and I had agreed on to make it easier for both of us without dragging Sofia in the middle of our mess. Our little angel had done nothing wrong, so we decided to keep up the mask of a healthy happy family for her. But I suffered.

_And I remember when we would go for days  
>In ways we thought would never end<br>Now it's over, it's just me_

There wasn't a minute where I didn't want to kiss Callie hard enough that it would make her forget about everything. And it hurt me to see her every day and not be able to touch her, to hold her, to tell her how much I loved her. Because even though we were kind of separated for almost three months now, my love for this woman has not died. And it felt like it would never go away. That's what love is supposed to be, right? Unconditional, relentless. And I wish that I would have seen it before, but I was blinded by the events of the past, especially the happenings of the last two years. God, what was I thinking taking it all out on her and then betraying her like that?

_And I don't like the sound  
>Of our feet on the ground<br>Unless we're running to the edge of something new for you and me_

The footsteps coming nearer startled me. I hadn't even realized I was still standing in the door frame to our living room until Sofia tugged on the leg of my pants. Big brown eyes looked up to me and a chubby, toothy smile graced her little face. Immediately, I had to fight against the tears that started to well up.

"Momma, come dance wif me?", our three year old sunshine asked.

I saw the joy and fun in her eyes. She was truly having a good time with Callie and I would have traded everything I had to dance with them. To have fun too. To be a part of this family again. But I wasn't. Because we agreed on spending time with our little girl, but always only one of us so it wouldn't be awkward.

My eyes found Callie's, I don't know if I was silently asking for her permission to join them for just a few minutes or if I was trying to tell her that I would keep my promise. "Not tonight, baby girl", I answered after shaking my head. "We'll dance tomorrow, okay? Momma's going to pick you up from daycare and then we'll have a dance party or a tea party with Mrs. Ladybug and Dr. Bear, okay?" When I mentioned the tea party with my daughter's favorite toys, her eyes lit up even more. She replied with a squeal and if it wasn't for the whole situation in our home, I would have been happy too. But instead, I made my way to the kitchen and heated up my dinner. I wasn't mad that they had already had dinner, I was sad that I had to eat alone.

_And I just wanna fall again  
>And I just wanna learn to fly<br>So I can love you like I never did_

Later that night I spotted Callie's bedroom door open after I came out of the bathroom. Thank God we had two of them, I could only imagine how tense any situation in a shared bathroom would play out. But the open door somehow bugged me. Callie never left the door to her bedroom open, especially now since we were broken up, and a part of me wanted to respect the boundaries she had set for us – I had agreed on them as well – but the other part wanted to see how she was doing. So I took a few steps, mindful of the creaking wooden floor beneath my feet, and stopped right in front of her room.

_I wait outside your life  
>Holding on to memories of everything you were to me<br>And how I was to you_

There she was, as beautiful as ever, lying on the bed, her legs crossed at her ankles and the medical journal – probably the Orthopedic Milestones – lying on her stomach. She must have fallen asleep over reading it and I couldn't help but smile. She was so breathtakingly stunning. The most gorgeous woman I had ever laid my eyes on and that hadn't changed in all these years. Just looking at her still had the ability to make everything better.

Pushing the door open, I made one cautious step and when she didn't move, I made another and then another. I made it to her bed without waking her and sat down on the edge of the mattress. Callie had always been a heavy sleeper so it didn't surprise me that she didn't stir. It was only three months and I couldn't stand it anymore not to be near her. I needed a touch, a sign that it was going to be okay. But whenever we were in the same room, we treated each other with silence and ignored the big, horny pink elephant in the room. I knew she felt it too. Our chemistry was still there, buried under piles of crap that we have been through.

_And do you think of me  
>Do you feel the way I feel before I sleep I close my eyes<br>And open them with you_

I stroke some of her miraculous dark locks out of her face and it must have tickled her because she started to wake up. Her eyes shot open, she must have sensed that someone was in the room, and she stared at me. I had no clue what she was thinking, her face was unreadable, which was rare. One thing I have always loved about my wife was that she wore her heart on her sleeve and that I could read her emotions from just looking at her. And I missed that. Because she tried to cover her feelings from me and had actually mastered in it in the past twelve weeks. But I missed it. I missed the love in her eyes. I missed the smile greeting me when I got home. But overall, I missed the warmth I had always felt when I was with her. And I didn't know if she missed it too and that scared me.

_Alone, I don't belong  
>You know I'm holding on<br>And how we'll let go of the dreams I had  
>I know they can come true<em>

When Callie didn't move away from me, I closed my eyes for a few seconds, thinking about much happier times. Times where I would get home and she couldn't even wait for me to take off my jacket before her lips were pressed on mine. Or times where we both picked up Sofia from the daycare to spend an afternoon in the park, running around and chasing our little butterfly. I felt the tears welling up again, and although I hadn't dared to open my eyes yet again, they trickled over the rim and down my cheeks. I missed everything so much. I felt so alone and the worst was that the dreams I never even knew I had, the dreams of a happy family, were crumbling down before my eyes.

_And I just wanna fall again  
>And I just wanna learn to fly<br>So I can love you like I never did_

I felt two warm thumbs wiping away my tears and when I opened my eyes, I noticed that Callie was crying too. And although I knew I was at least fifty percent responsible for her tears, I wanted to make them go away. She was such a good person, an amazing mother with a beautiful big heart, she shouldn't be in tears. She deserved better. So I leaned in, slowly enough to see her reaction, and when she didn't shy away, I kissed away the droplets on her left cheek and then on her right. I tasted the salt on my lips when I licked them.

None of us said a word, but the air was thick with emotions, happy memories of the past and the uncertainty of the future. And once again I found myself wishing that we could just go back to being happy.

_And I just wanna skydive  
>Right into your life<br>Seeing the whole world by your side_

Without thinking about it, I grabbed the back of her head and pulled her towards me, our lips meeting in a rough kiss. I forced my tongue into her mouth, afraid that if I wouldn't do it right now, she would push me away. But she didn't. She let it happen and our kiss deepened more and more until my lungs screamed for air because I had forgotten how to breathe. My hands cupped her cheeks, moved into her raven hair and I tangled my fingers in it, not wanting to let go of her, ever. I needed her in my life. I needed her by my side, going with me through thick and thin until our time on earth was up. I needed her to breathe, to live, to be with me again. If only she would see it too.

Her hands wandered to my upper arms, and for a moment I thought she would pull me even closer, but then she pushed me away, her eyes once again staring at me, shocked about what we had done. I didn't wait for her to say something. I rushed out of the room and into mine, locking the door behind me before I started to cry.

_And I just wanna skydive  
>Right into your life<br>Seeing the whole world by your side  
>We can skydive<em>

* * *

><p>The song is Skydive - O-town<p> 


	3. Say Something

_**Say Something**_

Arizona's POV

_Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
>I'll be the one, if you want me to.<br>Anywhere, I would've followed you.  
>Say something, I'm giving up on you.<em>

Six and a half months. I have waited for six and a half months for Callie to make a step towards me, to talk to me. I saw her, every day. At work, at home, some days even at Joe's. And I could see that she was happy, I had never wanted anything else for her. I wanted her to be happy, but I wanted her to be happy with me. I wanted us to be happy together. Happy and free, as she put it. But while I felt free and happy at work, I didn't feel the same at home. I didn't feel stuck either, I just wasn't happy because we were still apart and I was still longing. And longing and happiness didn't go hand in hand, they chose different directions. But still, I have waited, hoping that she would see that I was still there, that I was still willing to make it work.

Nothing. No reaction from her and I was done waiting. I didn't want to wait any longer. So I paced up and down the hall and when she slipped out of our daughter's bedroom after saying goodnight, I cornered her. "We need to talk." I didn't wait for her to say something, because that would have been useless. She would just stare at me, she's good at staring. And I couldn't stand her staring at me, because her beautiful brown eyes would have sucked me in and I wouldn't get that chance to get out what I needed to say.

_And I am feeling so small.  
>It was over my head<br>I know nothing at all._

"I need to know a few things, Calliope", I started, calling her by her real name because I have missed calling her that so much. Walking into my bedroom and tagging her along, she didn't give much of a fight, which honestly surprised me, I sat down and waited for her to do the same. After a minute of not doing anything, she finally sighed and sat down next to me, but on the other end of the bed. I swallowed hard, the knot in my throat was getting bigger and bigger. This night could either mend us, or break us for good. "I can't do this anymore. I can't wait any more, Calliope. It's been over six months and I feel like I have nothing left in me to watch you be happy without me." Tears pooled in my eyes but I wiped them away with the back of my hand before they had a chance to roll down my cheeks. "I miss you. I miss you so much that I don't know how I managed to cope the past months", I said, not looking at her. It was only partly true. My love for Sofia had kept me going. I lived for her. "You said you wanted me to feel free. And I do", I laughed, "I really do. At work." After Dr. Herman and I disagreed on too many things, I ended the fellowship and went back to being the super awesome pediatric surgeon I was. And maybe I should have seen it sooner, but really, this was all I ever needed in my career, to save the tiny humans. "But the freedom you gave me, I don't want that."

I looked at her for the first time, studying her miraculous face and noticing the dark circles under her eyes. It didn't make her any less beautiful in my eyes, though. "I don't feel free when I am not with you. You make me feel so many different things, Calliope. So many beautiful things, that I don't know what to do when you're not with me. I thrive at work and you're the one I want to tell about it right away. Sofia does something amazing and I want to call you or send you a picture. You look at me and I want to be allowed to say that I am yours." I felt more tears welling up, more than I could hold in and each tears I wiped away was instantly replaced with a new one.

_And I will stumble and fall.  
>I'm still learning to love<br>Just starting to crawl._

"I am not saying that I am perfect. I never was perfect, but I always felt damn close to being perfect when we were together. Because you didn't care if I was angry, if I woke up with wild bed hair, or if I was sad and had puffy eyes." I let the tears fall. "You didn't even care that I was one limb short, you loved me for me. And at first, this was new to me. Because everybody loved the shiny, bubbly peds surgeon and after the crash, I felt like that wasn't me anymore, but you also loved me when I was so down. And I know now that I had to learn what love really is about and then I knew. Because you were there and you loved me, unconditionally. And then you took it all away from me and I fell. I fell hard." The tears were now running freely down my cheeks and I had to take more and more deep breaths to keep talking. I closed my eyes for a moment, composing myself – or at least I tried to. I was scared my words wouldn't change a thing, I was afraid that after six and a half months, Callie would still choose to walk away from me. Turning around on the bed to face her, I demanded, "Look at me, Calliope!"

_Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
>I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.<br>Anywhere, I would've followed you.  
>Say something, I'm giving up on you.<em>

Our eyes met, but I couldn't read her anymore. She had built the walls high around her heart and I couldn't see what she was feeling. Her eyes were sad, yes. But I didn't know why. When she broke us, her eyes had been sad too. She had cried while telling me that she needed a break and she had cried even more when she had walked away from me. I will never forget that look in her eyes. The tears she had shed when I told her that I loved her so much, that she was my anchor, that I needed her. I had thought that it were tears of joy. But I had been so wrong. "Calliope", I started again and stopped. I didn't know what to say anymore. She was still my anchor, for everything, but during the past six and a half months, I had learned to be on my own again. Was that what she had meant when she had told me she wanted me to feel free?

_And I will swallow my pride.  
>You're the one that I love<br>And I'm saying goodbye._

Staring ahead, I blinked a couple of times. Suddenly, I was so confused. The world around me started to spin, metaphorically, and I didn't know what was right anymore. "I love you", I said, "I love everything about you. I always did and I will always do. But I can't keep doing this any longer. If you're not willing to talk to me, then so be it." Taking another deep breath, I looked at her again. "I promised myself to wait for you, Calliope. I swore to myself that I would wait for you forever." But all she had given me in the past months were two nights of rough sex and two evenings where we had talked about Sofia. Sofia. "But I don't believe you want me anymore. I feel like you don't want to give us another chance", I choked on my own words, realizing that I was giving up. "So I will let you go."

_Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
>And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.<br>And anywhere, I would have followed you.  
>Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you.<em>

This conversation had taken a different turn than I had intended. When I had dragged her into this room and forced her to listen to me, I thought that all I wanted was for her to hug me and tell me that she loved me. I had also thought that she would stop me. "I love you, Calliope." But she didn't. So I stood up and walked away without looking back.

_Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
>Say something...<em>

* * *

><p>The song is Say Something - A Great Big World<p>

AN: Hey guest, I got your reviews! Your ideas are good, but this story was basically finished when I posted the first chapter, it's only a short, 4-piece-story, so I couldn't work them in anymore. Sorry!


	4. The Story

_**The Story**_

Callie's POV

_All of these lines across my face  
>Tell you the story of who I am<br>So many stories of where I've been  
>And how I got to where I am<em>

Paralyzed. That's what my brain registered first. I was paralyzed, frozen to the spot, hadn't moved an inch since sitting down on the bed. My eyes had just followed Arizona leave through the door and the loneliness had started to sink in. I think it wasn't about being lonely, but about being all by myself in this room, sitting on this bed that held our marriage and everything we've had been through. We had made love in here, we had thought about arrangements for a new baby in here. We've had rough sex in here, twice, since breaking up and every time after we were done, I had felt the need to run. The first time I did. The second time she fell asleep in my arms and I had waited a little before slipping out of bed, still feeling the need to be free. But being free wasn't the same as being on my own, and being on my own was not the same as being free. I had figured that out about two weeks ago, yet, I had stayed silent and I didn't even know why. Had I waited for Arizona to come to me first? I guess I had. What a stupid idea considering that I had been the one asking for the break.

When I finally regained the control over my body, I made my way out of this room, fleeing from this room, yet running towards the person I needed to see. I found her in the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen counter and rolling a glass of white wine in her right hand. I saw the streaks of drying tears on her cheeks, her eyes dull, empty even and I once again had to face the truth, I had done this to her. "Arizona..."

"I'm leaving tomorrow", she said, not looking at me. "So you can be happy."

I was taken aback by her words, thinking that we had agreed that none of us would move out for Sofia's sake. Also, she had been wrong about one thing. I didn't want her to leave. I wanted to make it work again. I wanted to piece us back together. I had taped myself together again, had formed a really good friendship with Meredith which made me happy. But inside, I was still empty. Shallow. The happiness I thought I felt, by going out and drinking, wasn't real, it only filled a gap and kinda numbed my real feelings and emotions. My life as I used to know it was missing and I wanted it back, I needed it back. Damn, I was so stupid. "Nobody's leaving, Arizona. We have Sofia."

"Hopkins offered me a position as the new head of the peds department", she said, still not looking in my direction. Her words were calm, her voice raspy from all the crying. But she seemed fairly sure about leaving Seattle.

"You are already the head of a peds department", I countered. "You have a job _here_, you have a daughter _here_ who needs you. Alex needs you, Grey-Sloan-Memorial Hospital needs you." I stared at her, I couldn't believe she was thinking about leaving, about moving and leaving for good. "You can't take the job, Arizona, I-"

"You what, Callie?" The harsh undertone in her voice made me cringe.

_But these stories don't mean anything  
>When you've got no one to tell them to<br>It's true, I was made for you_

"I love you! I need you!" There, it was out. I said it. Just like that. Rushing towards her, I crashed my lips onto hers, savoring one of my favorite tastes in the world, her lips and white wine. I had always preferred red wine over white, but when it came to kissing Arizona, I couldn't imagine anything better than her lips and the taste of sweet white wine lingering on them. I kissed her with every feeling that I had for her and for the first time in months, the kiss wasn't rough or hard. No. After the first rush and need to feel her again was gone, I had slowed down, gently cupped her cheeks and connected our lips in a dance of love, want, need. She was what I needed to feel free too, I just hadn't seen it before.

My tongue asked for permission to taste even more of that sweet, indescribable flavor and I felt her hesitate, so I pulled back, locking my eyes with hers. There were new tears, new fears, but I could also see confusion. I knew that I had to let my guarding walls down, so I did. It had always been dangerously easy for me to let them down with her but that's how I had known she was the one for me. I had always known that I was meant to be with her. Even though we had a rough past. She was always the person who held my heart in her hands. She crushed it, bruised it, took pieces out of it. But she was also the only person with the ability to make it whole again.

_I climbed across the mountaintops  
>Swam all across the ocean blue<br>I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules  
>But, baby, I broke them all for you<em>

"I don't know where to start", I said honestly when the silence became too much to bear. We had lived in silence for months and I still thought that the break had been good for us, maybe even needed. But I wanted to put an end to it. "You broke me", I confessed. "But I realize that I also did a lot to break you, without the intention. But I guess, things happen. I broke my promises and my vows. When we said in good times and through bad, I meant every word." When she didn't move, I took her hand and placed it right over my rapidly beating heart. I had to make it right, voice what I was feeling, but I was scared I would fail. "This", I continued, "this is exactly what held me together during our break. You left a hand print on my heart and it's like a tattoo. I can't get rid of you." I sighed, wrong choice of words. "I _don't_ _want_ to get rid of you. Because I love you." Leaning my forehead against hers, I breathed in, deeply and long. "I love you. I love you. _I love you_", I whispered over and over again. "I have loved you when you left me for Africa, I have loved you when I married you and I have loved you too much to let you die. I have loved you all the time and I still do, to this very second and for as long as I will live."

She looked at me and I could see her inner battle, pretty sure that she didn't know whether she could believe me or if I was still trying to end this.

"My Arizona. My breathtakingly beautiful wife", I said, swallowing hard before I was able to keep going, "I am so sorry. I know that it is not enough. Sorry has never been enough for us. But I am. And I love you." Taking both of her hands in mine, I placed eight soft kisses on her skin, one kiss on each knuckle.

_Oh because even when I was flat broke  
>You made me feel like a million bucks<br>You do, and I was made for you_

Her eyes were still looking at me, but it seemed more like she was looking right through me. "You said that you want me to be happy, yet here you are saying that you're leaving, taking my happiness with you."

"You're happy without me, Callie. Don't you think I know that you have weekly 'dates' with Meredith for Cheeseburgers and Tequila at Joe's? You got what you wanted. You're free and you can be happy."

I didn't like where this was going. This was the wrong direction and I needed to make her see that I was all in. "But I am not happy without you! Don't you see it? I struggled, Arizona. I struggled without you and I just kept holding on to my hope that we would find our way back to each other without depending on each other. But I struggled. I kept a straight face or forced myself to come off as happy. But I wasn't. I am not happy because I miss you." I studied her, waiting for a change in her facial expression, or a move, I don't know. But I waited and nothing happened, so I crossed my arms over my chest and said, "Fine. You can leave. But if you're leaving, I'm coming with you and so will Sofia. She lost one parent, I will not be the reason she loses one of her mothers too." It was easy to make this about Sofia. But the truth was, this was about me and Sofia. "I lost you too many times to let you go again, so if you decide to move to Baltimore, then your daughter and I will come with you." At my words, her eyes changed. Something must have clicked inside her, there was some kind of a weird flash and from one second to the other, her eyes turned brighter, the sadness slowly fading away. And I couldn't help but smile. It started out small, but it broke into one of those bright megawatt smiles I know she has always loved.

_You see the smile that's on my mouth  
>It's hiding the words that don't come out<br>And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed  
>They don't know my head is a mess<em>

"You see me, the real me. And I want you to be the only one who sees me. I want us back. I love you." I reached out my hand, this time waiting for her to take it. She didn't, at first, and I sighed, my eyes filling with tears because of the rejection. "I don't want 'dates' with Mer for Cheeseburgers and Tequilas. I want you. I only want you." My voice had gone soft at the declaration, hoping that she would understand that I was serious about this. I only wanted her, forever. But I didn't know what to say to make her believe me.

_No, they don't know who I really am  
>And they don't know what I've been through<br>Like you do, and I was made for you_

The clock ticked on the wall and I started to count the seconds. One minute then two, then three and still nothing from her. Defeated, I let go. My lips quivered as tear after tear rolled over my cheek. I had lost her. I had been so stupid when I pushed her away from me and now she was going to leave me. I still didn't regret requesting the break. I just found myself wishing I had talked to her sooner.

"If we do this", she started and suddenly, she took my hand, repeating her own words. "If we do this, I want more therapy. For you, for me and for us as a couple. I want us to learn from the past and not to fall back into old patterns. No pushing the other away, no shutting the other one out, no rushing out because we don't want to talk about the problems", she stated, her eyes now clear blue and her voice strong. "I want us to face what we have done without making a fuzz out of the past. Just, let us just talk about it, admit that sweeping everything under the rug was what let to this mess and then move on. Together. With our daughter."

I didn't believe my ears. I heard her words, yes, and I saw the movement of her lips, but I didn't believe it. I thought that I was daydreaming, or that I had lost my mind in all this and that I had gone crazy, imagining conversations that never really happened. "Are you serious?"

"Deadly. And when we have made it through this, when we have made it to the end of this journey, I want to marry you again, legally. And I want another baby, with you."

_All of these lines across my face  
>Tell you the story of who I am<br>So many stories of where I've been  
>And how I got to where I am<em>

Once again I had to fight back the tears. Tears of happiness and I didn't mind losing this battle. "I love you, so much, Arizona."

"I love you too, Calliope."  
><em><br>Oh, but these stories don't mean anything  
>When you've got no one to tell them to<br>It's true that I was made for you  
>Oh, yeah, well, it's true that I was made for you<em>

* * *

><p>AN: I guess we all know the song, but hey, so what. The Story - Sara Ramirez (Brandi Carlile)<p> 


End file.
